Should you take your husband’s surname name after tying the knot? It’s a question many women are grappling with today.
And it’s no bad thing. Not when you consider that during the Victorian era a woman didn’t just take her husband’s surname – she was also given his first name. In fact, she became the ‘Mrs’ to his full name, where in public she would be presented as “Mrs James McBride.”
Thankfully, today the tables have turned quite a bit. Not fully, to the extent that men routinely take their wives second name (although this does happen on occasion), but rather that women are entitled to choose whether they want to take their husband’s name in marriage, or retain their own maiden name.
Some couples join both their second names with a hyphen eg Ellis-Brown. In recent times there has even been a trend for meshing names together ie mixing parts of both surnames together so that Ellis-Brown, for example, could become Brellis.
Some women ‘losing their identity’
Some women who didn’t take their husband’s surname on marriage said it was because the thought of losing their ‘own’ surname felt like losing their identity. An extreme reaction maybe, but certainly a valid reason for many women keen to hang on to their own surname.
And, of course, a woman wishing to maintain her maiden name strikes at the very heart of family – her own, as in the family she grew up with.
More women have a professional status
For women who work it’s often easier to stick with their maiden name. That’s how they are known professionally and to change it may lead to confusion amongst clients and other colleagues in their field.
Interestingly, there is a difference between British and American women, with more of the latter choosing to retain their maiden name. For instance, in 2016, 90 per cent of British women chose to take their new husband’s surname. That compared to just 70 per cent of US women.
The figures were lower than for the previous generation (10 years earlier). Some sociologists put it down to a more ‘gender aware’ era. When asked whether they would describe themselves as ‘feminist,’ 68 per cent of US women said they would, compared to 60 per cent of women in the UK.
Age of average bride increasing
Brides are getting older these days too. Official figures from the government’s Office of National Statistics (ONS) revealed that the women are almost 36 years old before they tend to get married these days. Men are even slightly older – at 38 years old.
Based on statistics for 2017, the figures also showed fewer opposite-sex couples were choosing to marry and, more startlingly, church weddings (or those with a religious theme) were falling sharply. That year only 23 per cent of all weddings were in church.
The age of a bride walks down aisle is important because the older she is, the longer she has lived with her surname – and presumably the more difficult it will be to change it.
Creating a new family
The reason most brides give for taking their husband’s surname is the fact that they want to create a ‘new’ family together. So that, when they have children, they too will have the ‘new’ name.
Some brides say they were happy to take their husband’s name to show their ‘commitment’ to him, their marriage and their new life together.
Of course, what a woman chooses to have as her surname post-marriage is a big decision. And it’s definitely not one to be take lightly. It should be discussed together with the potential partner. But, not the entire family (therein madness lies since everyone will have their own – and no doubt differing – opinion).
Get in touch
At Deedpoll.com you can change your surname – or Christian name – easily using our online service. Simply fill in the online application form accessed via our website. This is known as a ‘deed of change of name’ and once you have completed it, our team will do the rest for you.
It is a change which is accepted in law and is the documentary evidence you need to have all of your official records updated. You can find out more by calling us on 020 8017 2216 (9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday). You can also write to us at info@deedpoll.com. In the meantime, why not take a look through our website where we should be able to answer most of your questions in our FAQ section. See www.deedpoll.com today.
